Wednesday, October 22, 2008
It's now exactly 1 month to home in Kuching. And 2008's drawing to a close in slightly over 2 months. How the year passes!
Looking back over this year, I realize that despite the bumps in the road and the tears I have cried, there's really nothing worth complaining about.
Because with every bump, God never failed to wait beside me to pull me up. And though sometimes, it took me a little longer to get up because I was more comfortable being down on my bum rather than get up and fall again, I did get up. I did move on. Though sometimes, I turned and wanted to go back to before, because it seemed more familiar and secure, gently He turned my head back to focus on the road before me, reenforcing the need to move on. And He watched with pride as I chose to let go and step forward. And with that I grew.
And with every tear I cried, God was there to wipe it all away. He was there to take away my broken heart and give me a fresh new heart. He was there to hold me through it all. Even through those late nights, while the world slept and I lay awake on my bed, staring through tear-filled eyes at the ceiling, He was always there. And that's one thing He has taught me: He's available 24/7 for any need and anything.
Through the hardest days I've had in 2 years, He was right beside me, being my personal cheerleader, whispering words of encouragement. Sometimes, when it was so easy to judge the world around me, He gave me His Spirit and those very eyes that He has: eyes that look upon all in a love that till now remains so unexplainable. He clapped when I made it through the day, living by His principles but never condemned me when I didn't; instead gently correcting me. And despite the stubborness and pride, His words would eventually get through because my way would always fail.
He took away the chains upon my life and relieved me of my fears. He taught me the importance of faith and challenged me to believe. And time and time again, I saw Him take away a simple cold or flu during the winter days. He taught me to obey even when things didn't make sense. And never once, did He ever fail me; instead I reaped rewards. He taught me to stop trying to do everything in my strength and instead, depend on Him. And the lessons just keep coming...
And best of all, He inspired me to dream. He planted a seed in my heart and over the year, He grew a calling for the future that excites me but at the same time, scares me because it seems so impossible by my strength. But then I remember, I'd do it by His strength and not mine. And sometimes I think of how fragile the dream is but how much safer can a dream be than being in God's plan? All I need to do is obey but for now, the dream still keep growing...
*~Siaw Hui~*
She thanks her Jesus at 5:33 PM
