Friday, July 17, 2009
Since Tracy's begging me to write, here I am :) Nah only kidding. Was meaning to blog (her comment just gave me more incentive to :D).
I've just realized that for the whole month of June, there hasn't been anyone blogging here. O.o And to think, that this blog was set up with the sole intention of encouraging people. :S So I've renewed my vows to keep the love up in this place, just because ;)
You know, I've been thinking a lot about life dreams (especially what with Hillsong Conference last week and all) and how I believe everyone has a dream. When I talk about dreams, I'm not referring to those pictures that flash through your head at night nor of those you had as a little kid (e.g. I want to be a princess! A movie star! Rich and famous!) I'm talking about your heart's calling.
I believe that everyone in this world has something that they're deeply and madly passionate about; something that can break their heart and even bring them to tears when they think about it; something that drives them to get up every single morning just to see it come one step closer to them.
If you're sitting there, giving me a wide-eyed look because you think: "Pfttt, what's Siaw Hui talking about? I have nothing that burns me with the passion she's talking about!" You know what I say? Just sit quietly for a few moments, open your heart and search deeply inside of it and I know that you WILL find something that makes you burn on the inside if you really look. Perhaps the passion you feel for whatever cause it is isn't as intense as my description yet but I know (believe me, I know) that you'd at least feel a subtle tug or pull (or whatever!) on your heart when you think about it.
That dream, can I say, don't ever let it die. It is of the utmost importance that you guard it, you keep it safe because there will be a lot of people (maybe yourself included!) who'd tell you: "Forget it, you won't ever be able to do it because of A, B, C, D etc." But don't ever let that sweep your dream into that tiny corner and forget about it because that dream is inside of your deepest of hearts for a reason. It was planted by the one person in this universe (ahem God :D) with the sole intention of you living it out. :) Why? Because it'd make you happy, that's why :P
And one more thing: don't only keep the dream alive but also fan it into flame! Because a dream in its dormant state is not going to be as powerful as a dream that is bursting with life because the person who holds it has grown and nurtured it. But be careful though! Just because your ultimate dream is, for e.g. - to help the poor children in Africa doesn't mean you just wait around on your arse waiting for the free flight to Africa to give you the chance to work with such kids.
Why not start out with something in your local community? The Salvation army perhaps? The nearest refugee centre for example? Because one thing I know is this, how on earth will you work with children of a different culture in a politically unstable (and primarly poverty-ridden) country if you've had NO experience of working with kids in the first place? That's like me asking you to compete in the Olympics in horse-riding when you've never even SEEN a horse before. XD
Also, it's the way God works. He trusts you with the smaller things and then when it goes well, He graduates you to the next level - a slightly higher level and so on. And thank goodness He does it this way, if not we'd probably get overwhelmed and fizzled out if He immediately loaded us with the highest level of all because we won't have the capacity OR ability for it!
And you know what? It doesn't even NEED to be related to whatever your calling is! If you're called to become the next great worship leader of this generation, that doesn't mean you sit on your arse and do NOTHING until something remotely worship-y comes along! That's so - for lack of a better word - stupid! What's wrong with serving in another area of the kingdom? It can only benefit you so long as you do it with a cheerful and servant heart - God'll be pleased and, believe me, you open yourself up to an experience that'd only reward you and may help build foundation for that final destination you're heading for :)
So, just DO something about it! Don't just keep cradling your passion in your arms (thereby keeping it safe) but never doing anything about it except keep talking about it! This expression aptly puts it: You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk? ;)
And be prepared to give up any presumption you may have of your dream. Like me, you may have a certain life plan in your head with the dream ultimately being reached somewhere in said life plan. But God has His own way of bringing you to the dream because you must remember, do you seriously think you're taking this journey on your own? Well, bless your heart (lol), of course not! You can't possibly think that the Creator planted a passion in the heart of His creation (you) and then went: Oh-kay, you're on your own now dude, ta! No way! He wants to be on this journey with you - He wouldn't miss it for anything in the world :) I can almost imagine Him putting his trusty adventure hat on (like the one Indiana Jones has) and going: Hey wait up for me! I want to come along with you too!! :D
Giving up your life plan may be hard and even painful - when I realized that I had to give mine up, I cried for a night (honest) because I'd been nurturing it since I was ten please lol. But you know what? At the end of the day, I think about it like this. In my life plan, I've put in all the details that, I think, will make me very happy when I achieve it. I still think they'd make me happy even after I've given it up. But I also know that the me that achieves all those goals in my life plan will never be AS happy as the me that follows the unknown life plan that God has for me - get my drift? :) Because only my Creator would know what would bring me the greatest joy of all - like duh, it's not me who created my heart hey lol.
And you know what? I know God'll never fail me. See, I've come to realize that if God has stood before me before I was born into this world and told me: Okay Siaw Hui, I'm giving you a choice. Do you want to map out your next 20 years for yourself or would you let me plan it for you? I would have told Him: You go ahead, I'd just live whatever 20 years you give me. And for me, that's saying a lot.
Because (and this comes from the heart) in the past 20 years, I've endured disappointments - my older sister. I've endured heart breaks - and boy would you love me to elaborate on this one hey? I've endured betrayals time and time again - cue the two years I was Head Girl. I've endured physical threats and emotional abuse. I've endured laughter at me (NOT with me) for a whole year. I've endured attacks to bring down my self-esteem. In fact, Sarah puts it aptly when she says: Siaw, for someone as young as you, you've gone through a lot of stuff (that requires forgiveness) hey?
But you know what? I wouldn't change those 20 years for anything in the world. Yeah sure, it sucked when I went through all that - and wished then that God had mapped a different path for me. But at the end of it all, all these is the reason why I stand here today and am who I am. The friends I made in that 20 year journey - who are still dear and precious to me as when we first bonded and shared in those trials - wouldn't have been made any other way. And the lessons that I learnt and carry with me now wouldn't have been learnt any other way either :D And most of all, the experiences I had with God through those multiple trials couldn't (definitely!) have been felt so keenly and deeply had I not gone through those times. And it is these experiences that remind me of His goodness and keeps me going through a bad day even till today :)
So, I have a dream. I have a passion. My heart burns for people; people who have lost their loved ones. Orphans. Widows, widowers. But most of all, my heart burns for families. I have a strong belief that this world has seen too much brokeness that it has become a familiar tune to them. Well I want to change that tune. I want to make families sing to that tune that God has always intended - of love (not of hate for each other), of unity (not of divide), of commitment (not of unfaithfulness).
I believe that one person CAN change the world. Mother Theresa did - what makes you think you're inferior to her? Both you and her were made in the same image - God. All she did was allow herself to be used by God and let the passion she had for people in her heart show through. So stop thinking "But I'm only one person!" because the power of one can be mighty indeed.
So dream, and dream big. Because you know what? God's dreaming even bigger than you are ;)
She thanks her Jesus at 9:28 PM
