Thursday, September 24, 2009
Just wondering about how dead this blog is, and then how I was supposed to keep it updated :D So yeah, just decided to share little one-liners that keep me going throughout some of those challenging times ;)
The King is enthralled by your beauty (Psalms 45) - yes, that's for the girls :D especially when they're feeling not good enough, not pretty enough :)
I was born for such a moment like this - that's for those times you feel: "Aargh why me! Why this?"
God'll never leave me, nor forsake me (Joshua 1? something like that) - for those times you feel alone in your sadness, your challenges
I have a dream bigger than me - for those times you feel like you've got nothing to live for
My cup overflows with His goodness - for those times you need to claim those blessings :)
Hope that encourages and stirs you :D
Siaw Hui~*
She thanks her Jesus at 11:44 PM
Monday, September 7, 2009
One day after a great and absolutely mind-blowing camp, less-than-good news hits. And I have a gut feeling that this isn't going to be the last I hear - though I pray that it will be.
So what do I do now?
Well, I'd tell you what I do.
I don't care what news comes my way - be it good or bad. And I absolutely hate it when thoughts come into my mind and go: "Oh there you go. See, see, you were so into God and serving Him that's why this happened the way it did. If you were to play it down a bit, it wouldn't have been so bad, don't you see?" And, honestly there's a part of me that goes: "Yeah that makes sense. If I hadn't spend so much time chasing after God and building His kingdom, if I had tuned down, maybe things would have been better..."
And then I realize.
WHAT ON EARTH AM I THINKING? What happened at camp was real. What happened at camp changed me, turned my life upside down, my heart inside out. And nothing can ever change that, NO ONE can ever take that away from me! I had felt so alive in His presence, I kept jumping for joy because it was just bursting over and over again inside of me, I felt so ... floaty! Hahaha, that's my officially favourite word from now on.
God hasn't robbed me of anything. Loving Him, serving Him has only added more to my life! Sure this bad news had to come but that doesn't make Him less real, less true in my life. It's a lie to say that it happened because of Him. It's NEVER because of Him because He's only come to add more to me and my life!
This is just a challenge, a test of my whether I'd throw in the towel, go "Yep, you're absolutely right, I should stop serving while it's not so bad yet" and walk away OR if I'd stand absolutely put, ground my teeth and press on because I believe that there's something greater! And blimey, I'm taking the second option man! :D I know God'll give me the strength to get over this one and the skills I need to take the next hurdle and turn this bad news into a good one - totally! :D After all, put first His kingdom and everything else will be added right? My cup shall overflow with His goodness yeah? I"M CLAIMING THOSE PROMISES MAN and I'm living for more!
So, I just want to challenge you. What thoughts are you thinking today? Are you thinking along the lines of: "Yeah, if only I cooled down my relationship with God a bit, maybe I'd succeed better in this, maybe I'd do better in this..."? Because if you are, let me just say: "STOP THINKING THOSE THOUGHTS!!" They're absolutely rotten and they're absolutely STUPID LIES.
Because did God ever say: "Oooh yeahh, chase after other things first, I'm not that important... you can chase me after you've chased those things." OH WHAT ROT. He's a jealous God and He's so freakingly head over heels in love with you that He aches for you to love Him with all your heart. And how do you show him that? WELL, my dear friends, you CHASE HIM DOWN, you HUNT HIM DOWN, you serve Him, seek Him, draw close to Him, do EVERYTHING that pleases His heart right?
But you have a choice! He won't force it down your throat demanding: Thou shalt love me or I shall smite you into ashes! But He aches for your intimacy. That's a fact. He doesn't want you to be cold, not even lukewarm - He wants it all, just like how you have HIS all. And jsut because you're not seeing His blessings today DOESN"T mean it's totally non-existent. Did He say: I shall only bless you when I feel like it? He said ALL things will be added unto you when you seek first His kingdom yeah? He said: My promises are Yes and Amen yeah? He said: I will grant you the desires of your heart. He said, Ask and it shall be given unto you.
The key thing to note is that it never said: I shall add all these things... IMMEDIATELY. I shall say yes INSTANTLY. I shall grant the desires RIGHT NOW. I shall give it THE MOMENT YOU SNAP YOUR FINGERS. Patiences is something God highly values and one thing I've learnt, God's timing for blessing is sooo perfect - even though you wait for it - because when it's granted, you've learnt so much along the way that you doubly, triply appreciate what He's given to you. :)
This world is full of challenges. Whther or not you choose to back down, thinking it's because of God that these things are happening to you is a choice. But I choose to press in, go higher because I know I've got treasures waiting up there for me ;) and that whatever happens here can be overcome because I've already got victory in Him. So yeah, maybe I'm going through a rough time now. But I'm NOT gonna level the blame on Him, neither am I going to stop serving and loving Him because I know my blessing's just round the corner if I'd only let Him give me the skills I need.
So what are you doing today? Backing down or standing up?
She thanks her Jesus at 8:25 PM
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Psalms 27:4 - One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. (NIV)You know, when I was younger, I never really understood the meaning of this verse. I mean yeah, sure, understandably, David would want to seek out a God who is the most powerful being of the universe in an attempt to know His heart, know the workings of His mind. But to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord? Why would anyone want to do that?
Like can you imagine? Just sitting there and staring at God. Like eh, nothing better to do ah? Why don't you ask Him a question? :)
Then, I went walking in Carlton Gardens and it's like in that moment of time, everything became so crystal clear.
Imagine... a clear, cool Melbourne winter evening where the sun hovers somewhere between afternoon and night, casting a soft, almost orange glow on the path before you. A path littered with leaves the colour of autumn; rustic brown, yellow, the occasional red.
Imagine... trees of different characters. Some standing tall and proud; others slumped almost as if their backs hunched. Some - succumbing to winter's chill - stand bare, devoid of foilage. Then there are some that almost seem to defy winter, showcasing thick leaves that rustle ever so softly in the breeze...
Imagine... imagine.
Because that's what I saw for the whole week that God was teaching me about beauty. :)
Standing there in the midst of nature and knowing that it is as its most dormant because it's winter and yet ... seeing the quiet enchantment of it all just makes me go: Wow. And there's just something about it all that makes my heart give out this huge sigh of relief and slow its beat down - almost as if it's calming my soul. I feel as though the world has stopped turning for that moment in time - as if everything else in my life fades away because, just because it really doesn't matter all that much anymore - well at that point in time anyway.
It's as if there's a crystal clear message scrawled across the picturesque scenery that tells me everything's going to be just all right - so don't worry. I don't know how and I don't know why I should let the majesty of nature affect me this way - but it just does.
And the thing is that it doesn't end with just me standing and watching the beauty that surrounds me; I actually walk away from the gardens with this "floaty" feeling inside of me. The feeling that I can do absolutely anything because there's nothing that can stop me; the feeling of wanting to hug people for sheer joy - to look at people in a new, non-judgemental light :)
And that's when the reality of what David said hit me - loud and clear. That's when I began to understand how totally marvellous, how awesome it is to just be in God's presence and enjoy His beauty. To not say anything but just BE in where He is and letting joy, love, hope, security and so much more just wash over me.
And I realize that's exactly how relationships develop and how they mature. Like, when we first meet someone, we're all gungho about wanting to grow the relationship and cement it ever so strongly. So we go all out to talk (and I really mean talk) to them: tell them who we are, where we're headed for in life, what we love doing... just basically me, myself and I. Added to that is this whole: Let's get to know you too! deal. So we ask about the other person, we get to know MORE about the other person; her interests, her life...
It's how we behave around God when we first meet Him. We ask Him to show us things about Himself, ask Him to speak to us. And for the me part, we ask Him to come through for us, we tell Him about what's going on in our lives...
But then just like how a relationship matures into those long but comfortable silences. It's not that we don't put as much time and effort as we first did in the beginning because the effort and the time remains the same. It's just the fact that we know each other much more by now that we can just sit in silence and just ... enjoy each other's presences. And a lot can be said in those complex silences; a lot can be conveyed.
And that's how it is with God. You come to this point where you don't really need to blab everything out to Him anymore. There's this feeling that He knows you (well He always has, it's just that you don't feel the need to actually tell Him about yourself in tons of words anymore :D). And the silence is really enough because that's all He really needs (at this stage) to show you His love, His glory and His unbelievable presence... and so in the silence, you just ... rest in His presence and ... get that "floaty feeling" :)
So may I suggest that (if you've not already done it) to get into His presence and just, be silent and enjoy what His beauty has to offer? :D
She thanks her Jesus at 12:53 AM
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Saw this wonderful quote today:
Don't ever let adversity get you down - except if it's on your kneesHow awesome is that? :)
P.S. - I will definitely update after this splunking (for lack of a better word) midsem is done and over with phoo. I promise it'd be a good post! :)
I think the one good thing about studying neuroscience this semester is this: God is freakishly genius when He created our brain circuitry :) - so much so mere mortals like us still haven't worked it all out yet - hence the difficulty in studying lol.
Siaw Hui ~
She thanks her Jesus at 11:32 PM
Friday, July 17, 2009
Since Tracy's begging me to write, here I am :) Nah only kidding. Was meaning to blog (her comment just gave me more incentive to :D).
I've just realized that for the whole month of June, there hasn't been anyone blogging here. O.o And to think, that this blog was set up with the sole intention of encouraging people. :S So I've renewed my vows to keep the love up in this place, just because ;)
You know, I've been thinking a lot about life dreams (especially what with Hillsong Conference last week and all) and how I believe everyone has a dream. When I talk about dreams, I'm not referring to those pictures that flash through your head at night nor of those you had as a little kid (e.g. I want to be a princess! A movie star! Rich and famous!) I'm talking about your heart's calling.
I believe that everyone in this world has something that they're deeply and madly passionate about; something that can break their heart and even bring them to tears when they think about it; something that drives them to get up every single morning just to see it come one step closer to them.
If you're sitting there, giving me a wide-eyed look because you think: "Pfttt, what's Siaw Hui talking about? I have nothing that burns me with the passion she's talking about!" You know what I say? Just sit quietly for a few moments, open your heart and search deeply inside of it and I know that you WILL find something that makes you burn on the inside if you really look. Perhaps the passion you feel for whatever cause it is isn't as intense as my description yet but I know (believe me, I know) that you'd at least feel a subtle tug or pull (or whatever!) on your heart when you think about it.
That dream, can I say, don't ever let it die. It is of the utmost importance that you guard it, you keep it safe because there will be a lot of people (maybe yourself included!) who'd tell you: "Forget it, you won't ever be able to do it because of A, B, C, D etc." But don't ever let that sweep your dream into that tiny corner and forget about it because that dream is inside of your deepest of hearts for a reason. It was planted by the one person in this universe (ahem God :D) with the sole intention of you living it out. :) Why? Because it'd make you happy, that's why :P
And one more thing: don't only keep the dream alive but also fan it into flame! Because a dream in its dormant state is not going to be as powerful as a dream that is bursting with life because the person who holds it has grown and nurtured it. But be careful though! Just because your ultimate dream is, for e.g. - to help the poor children in Africa doesn't mean you just wait around on your arse waiting for the free flight to Africa to give you the chance to work with such kids.
Why not start out with something in your local community? The Salvation army perhaps? The nearest refugee centre for example? Because one thing I know is this, how on earth will you work with children of a different culture in a politically unstable (and primarly poverty-ridden) country if you've had NO experience of working with kids in the first place? That's like me asking you to compete in the Olympics in horse-riding when you've never even SEEN a horse before. XD
Also, it's the way God works. He trusts you with the smaller things and then when it goes well, He graduates you to the next level - a slightly higher level and so on. And thank goodness He does it this way, if not we'd probably get overwhelmed and fizzled out if He immediately loaded us with the highest level of all because we won't have the capacity OR ability for it!
And you know what? It doesn't even NEED to be related to whatever your calling is! If you're called to become the next great worship leader of this generation, that doesn't mean you sit on your arse and do NOTHING until something remotely worship-y comes along! That's so - for lack of a better word - stupid! What's wrong with serving in another area of the kingdom? It can only benefit you so long as you do it with a cheerful and servant heart - God'll be pleased and, believe me, you open yourself up to an experience that'd only reward you and may help build foundation for that final destination you're heading for :)
So, just DO something about it! Don't just keep cradling your passion in your arms (thereby keeping it safe) but never doing anything about it except keep talking about it! This expression aptly puts it: You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk? ;)
And be prepared to give up any presumption you may have of your dream. Like me, you may have a certain life plan in your head with the dream ultimately being reached somewhere in said life plan. But God has His own way of bringing you to the dream because you must remember, do you seriously think you're taking this journey on your own? Well, bless your heart (lol), of course not! You can't possibly think that the Creator planted a passion in the heart of His creation (you) and then went: Oh-kay, you're on your own now dude, ta! No way! He wants to be on this journey with you - He wouldn't miss it for anything in the world :) I can almost imagine Him putting his trusty adventure hat on (like the one Indiana Jones has) and going: Hey wait up for me! I want to come along with you too!! :D
Giving up your life plan may be hard and even painful - when I realized that I had to give mine up, I cried for a night (honest) because I'd been nurturing it since I was ten please lol. But you know what? At the end of the day, I think about it like this. In my life plan, I've put in all the details that, I think, will make me very happy when I achieve it. I still think they'd make me happy even after I've given it up. But I also know that the me that achieves all those goals in my life plan will never be AS happy as the me that follows the unknown life plan that God has for me - get my drift? :) Because only my Creator would know what would bring me the greatest joy of all - like duh, it's not me who created my heart hey lol.
And you know what? I know God'll never fail me. See, I've come to realize that if God has stood before me before I was born into this world and told me: Okay Siaw Hui, I'm giving you a choice. Do you want to map out your next 20 years for yourself or would you let me plan it for you? I would have told Him: You go ahead, I'd just live whatever 20 years you give me. And for me, that's saying a lot.
Because (and this comes from the heart) in the past 20 years, I've endured disappointments - my older sister. I've endured heart breaks - and boy would you love me to elaborate on this one hey? I've endured betrayals time and time again - cue the two years I was Head Girl. I've endured physical threats and emotional abuse. I've endured laughter at me (NOT with me) for a whole year. I've endured attacks to bring down my self-esteem. In fact, Sarah puts it aptly when she says: Siaw, for someone as young as you, you've gone through a lot of stuff (that requires forgiveness) hey?
But you know what? I wouldn't change those 20 years for anything in the world. Yeah sure, it sucked when I went through all that - and wished then that God had mapped a different path for me. But at the end of it all, all these is the reason why I stand here today and am who I am. The friends I made in that 20 year journey - who are still dear and precious to me as when we first bonded and shared in those trials - wouldn't have been made any other way. And the lessons that I learnt and carry with me now wouldn't have been learnt any other way either :D And most of all, the experiences I had with God through those multiple trials couldn't (definitely!) have been felt so keenly and deeply had I not gone through those times. And it is these experiences that remind me of His goodness and keeps me going through a bad day even till today :)
So, I have a dream. I have a passion. My heart burns for people; people who have lost their loved ones. Orphans. Widows, widowers. But most of all, my heart burns for families. I have a strong belief that this world has seen too much brokeness that it has become a familiar tune to them. Well I want to change that tune. I want to make families sing to that tune that God has always intended - of love (not of hate for each other), of unity (not of divide), of commitment (not of unfaithfulness).
I believe that one person CAN change the world. Mother Theresa did - what makes you think you're inferior to her? Both you and her were made in the same image - God. All she did was allow herself to be used by God and let the passion she had for people in her heart show through. So stop thinking "But I'm only one person!" because the power of one can be mighty indeed.
So dream, and dream big. Because you know what? God's dreaming even bigger than you are ;)
She thanks her Jesus at 9:28 PM
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
let me introduce you to my list of "i wants"
i want to impact the world - now!
i want to impact people's lives!
i want to influence ppl to greater heights!
i want to be there for ppl who are hurt, disappointed and need someone to just be there and give encouragement and hugs!
i want to get on with my life - not have it put on hold until i get something!
i want to live my destiny - NOW!
i want to never ever compromise what i'm made for for ANYTHING ever!
i want the world to remember me for the marks i left behind, not as someone who was: oh yeah she was cool, nice ... blah.
i want to breathe passion, live passion, move with passion!
i want to grow, keep growing, step up and keep stepping up - never back down!
WHOOT!
She thanks her Jesus at 1:12 PM
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I don't know how I'm going to type this because my heart's totally jumping all over the place right now and it's just bubbling out of me so badly!!!
BUT I must must share this with the whole wide entire world (hence, the blog lol) because it's just too awesome and INCREDIBLE! And I so want to encourage others to go through the same thing as me! :D AAAHHH!!
PLUS I need this so that I will NEVER EVER forget this GREAT COOL thing!
So okay, I just want to encourage you that whatever happens in your life; regardless of how unplanned said thing is, and you start questioning God (please refer to previous post)... I just want to encourage you to LISTEN to what He says and just OBEY it even though the answer totally doesn't make sense because it doesn't seem related to what you asked.
Because you know what? It sets you up for something greater (and totally unrelated too lol) and you will NOT expect it :D
Anyway, today at service, Pastor Rob was preaching and saying about how some people (including him) have smelt the Holy Spirit and how it smelt like concentrated rose petals. And I remember thinking to myself: Oh my GOSHH how cool is that?? (even though I could not even begin to imagine what that smells like LOL because in my experience, roses are really hard to smell... it's so faint!)
So when the opportunity came for us to pray and ask God to let us experience Him in ways we've never felt before, see etc. etc. I started praying: Lord, I want to smell You! Let me smell You! And somehow, in my heart, I knew that it was GOING to happen!
I didn't smell it right at that instant, but I felt a veil of peace just fall over me... when I could just become aware of my heart beat. And just for that moment, that one moment, it felt like everything was perfect and nothing could ever touch me!!
So anyway, after the whole deal was done, I walked out of the hall and to the side doors, to the spot where I initially was; welcoming ppl into the service before it began (I was ushering I FORGOT TO MENTION HAHA). I am telling you that as I pushed open those doors and went to assume my position I suddenly smelt this amazingly strong, powerful (yet not sickening, in fact pleasant) scent!
The first thing that went through my mind was: What perfume is that? And I turned to look if someone had walked past me and sent out that whiff of perfume as she walked by... but then I realized, all these ppl were walking past me and yet that scent didn't fade! It just stayed there as strong as it first began! If it had been emitted off someone, it would have slowly faded but... NO IT STAYED!
And then I started bouncing this way and that within that area and the smell remained the same. And then I started thinking: Okay, why is NO ONE ELSE smelling this?? No one was looking this way and that (like I did, trying to find the smell). They were just busy talking to one another, like nothing strong was piercing their nostrils!
And I remember thinking: Boy, does this scent remind me of flowers! AND THAT"S WHEN IT HIT ME! IT SMELLS LIKE ROSE PETALS!!! Like LOADS AND LOADS OF ROSE PETALS!! And as I breathed in more of it, I was more convinced.
I started running back inside; into the hall and for a while the smell stayed with me but then it disappeared. When I went back to that same spot there it was again! As powerful as ever! And this time, they were different people near the spot (so it's DEFINITELY not ppl emitting the smell lol!) And I was so totally gobsmacked because SERIOUSLY, it's the very same spot where I had been standing almost 45 minutes, welcoming ppl into the hall to encounter God! IT"S LIKE HE WAS WITH ME ALL THE TIME WHILST I WAS SERVING HIM HOW AWESOME IS THAT?
Oh, and btw, just to reassure any skeptics, in that 45 minutes before service started when I was standing there, I never smelt anything. Neither did Doreen (my awesome-st ushering partner who was standing there too, chatting her heart out with me). When I came back an hour after my experience to that same place (I was posted elsewhere) ... I didn't smell anything so NO it's not the carpet or furnishings WHATEVER!
And oh, by the time the last service came (yep I was still there because I was ushering hahaha) and when that opportunity came again. AGAIN, I felt the same peace... and this time, there was a faint smell of rose petals yet again!!
WOOOOO! Awesomeness!
Siaw Hui
She thanks her Jesus at 10:14 PM
