Love Letters to God


Saturday, August 23, 2008


Esther 3:13
"Dispatches were sent by couriers to all the king's provinces with the order to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews - young and old, women and little children - on a single day, the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month of Adar, and to plunder their goods."

Esther 4: 1 - 8
"When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly.

But he went only as far as the king's gate, because no one clothed in sackcloth was allowed to enter it.

In every province to which the edict and order of the king came, there was great mourning amongst the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing. Many lay in sackcloth and ashes.

When Esther's maids and eunuchs came and told her about Mordecai, she was in great distress. She sent clothes for him to put on instead of his sackcloth, but he would not accept them.

Then Esther summoned Hathach, one of the king's eunuchs assigned to attend her and ordered him to find out what was troubling Mordecai and why.

So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the open square of the city i front of the king's gate.

Mordecai told him everything that had happened to him, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews.

He also gave him a copy of the text f the edict for their annihilation, which had been published in Susa, to show to Esther and explain it to her, and he told him to urge her to go into the king's presence to beg for mercy and plead with him for her people."

when i first read this, i wondered to myself: why did Esther do what she did when she first heard about Mordecai and his state of distress?

i mean, the girl must be pretty thick-headed if you try to visualize what must have happened in the king's palace when she first heard about Mordecai...
Esther's maids: Queen Esther! Queen Esther! We have something to tell you about Mordecai!
Esther: what's happened then?
maids: He's standing outside the king's gates, wearing this sackcloth and he's just bawling his eyes out! We don't know why... but he's just wailing and thrashing himself!
Esther: Oh, okay, hmm... right. Just get him a new, clean set of clothes yeah?

know what i mean?

in real life, if i were to see someone on the brink of what looks like visual depression, i wouldn't really bother about what they're wearing, i would care more about what has CAUSED them to actually get into that state of emotion.

which was why my next question was: oh God, why did Esther do that? why didn't she ask her maids to find out WHY Mordecai was upset instead of trying to fix his clothes?

and the answer that came back to me was extremely simple, such that it just serves as a stark reminder.

sometimes, in this world, instead of trying to find out what someone's problem is, we try to FIX the physical manifestation of the person's problem.

for example:

it's a brilliant day. you feel on top of the world and you're walking through a park (carlton gardens! hahaha okay okay, i'm kidding) to get home. you CAN"T wait to go home because there's this fat chocolate muffin that siaw hui has made for you sitting in the fridge...

okay, i'd try this again shall i? XD

all right, so, you're cutting through the park and you're happy. and then, you walk past a girl crying on the bench. she isn't a complete stranger to you now. she's someone you see everyday in your faculty; you know her name, you say hi and talk the surface talk you talk ... but now, she's sitting on the park bench, bawling her little eyes out. she's completely and utterly alone in that huge park.

what would you do?

would you go to her and say: uhm... are you okay?

she'd probably say, while wiping her tears away: it's all right. i'm fine.

or would you profer some tissues, going: here now, take these and wipe those tears away. don't cry all right?

she'd probably take the tissues and wipe her tears dry. then she'd probably say: thank you. and if you follow that up with a: you're welcome. and say, is there anymore that i can do? she'd probably say: no and you'd probably leave.

or maybe you'd say: look here, don't cry. everything will turn out to be okay?

now, that's what i call dealing with the physical manifestations of the problem only.

look here, no one cries without a reason do they? the girl might be crying because she's just been ditched by her boyfriend (that'd be a classic reason now won't it?). or she might be crying because her mummy's just passed away. or she might be crying because she just realized she's gotten pregnant out of wedlock and now she doesn't know what to do...

there's nothing wrong with helping ppl cry or helping them STOP cry, but that'd just be like Esther saying: Mordecai, don't walk around in that sackcloth now. Here are some better clothes for you.

but then, that's it isn't it?

the girl may stop crying. Mordecai might have taken those clothes and worn it. but does it stop both their hearts from continuing to break with sadness?

no, it will not.

because their internal problems haven't been fixed. because no one has tried to ask: what's wrong with you? tell me why are you crying? tell me, why are you in that sack cloth and pottering around with tears in your eyes, Mordecai? maybe i can help you understand all this. maybe i can help you. tell me, i want to listen, i want to get involved.

granted, there's always a chance that they tell you: go away, nothing's wrong. but there also is a chance that they will recognize that willingness of yours to get involved with their lives and tell you what's wrong. and if you can help them, kudos, they'd stop crying. and their hearts will stop breaking because there's someone there willing to help them work through it.

i feel that, too many times in this world, people just try to fix up the outer problems and then pat themselves on the back saying: well done, well done, we just solved that when they haven't. all they've done is fix things up superficially.

because it's so much easier to just tell ppl to do things, make ppl do things. it's so much easier to stand on the outside and offer your comfort.

but it's much harder to get involved with the person, listen to the problems without a judging heart and expend your effort to help the person.

but that's what we've been called to do as children of God isn't it?

we've been called to love others despite of who they are.

and what's love without devoting yourself to those who need you?

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She thanks her Jesus at 9:31 PM

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